This is a somewhat edited version of the same thing I posted on Facebook awhile ago:
So, we're pretty fond of figuring out alter egos for ourselves here. That's why, during the home stretch of watching all 3 original trilogy movies, we decided a lot of our friends could totally replace many of the main characters of Star Wars. They are mostly from the originals but some from the new ones. If you don't get this then you don't know these people well enough!
Disclaimer: This was decided by a panel of experts, a.k.a. a room full of drunken nerdy kids.
Luke Skywalker: Apparently I am the one and only Luke Skywalker; the Last Samurai, if you will, of the Jedi order. He's a brooding warrior hero who flirts with the Dark Side, but ultimately chooses good out of loyalty to his friends. Oh, and he never actually lands the chick, unless you consider Harrison Ford a pretty good catch (which I most certainly do).
Princess Leia: The right-hand man of the rebellion, who is actually a woman! She's got spunk, she's beautiful, she's Nora Simmons. Aside from her awesome hair, and oh-so-steamy metal-alloy beach attire, she's a girl who comes from royal stock who isn't afraid to get her hands dirty in the best interest of what she believes in. She'll risk life and limb to save Han, who is an important ally to the rebellion...and also happens to be her main squeeze! Honestly, if R2D2 brought you a message pleading for help from this royalest of royal babes, would you be able to turn it down? Me either.
Han Solo: Also known as Bakari Roscoe, and he always shoots first. If you haven't seen this guy in a while, it's probably because he owes you money. He's a drifter, and he's been everywhere. If you want help, name your price. But he's not just a "stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder!" He's also Harrison Ford, and he's got the slickest ride in the universe if you're lookin to outrun Imperial Star-Destroyers. Plus, he's actually got a heart somewhere underneath his awesome space-cowboy getup. In the end, the mercenary pilot uses his flying prowess and not-so-shabby battle tactics to help take down the Empire...probably mostly to get out of paying taxes.
Chewbacca: Also known as Chewie, and we hear he just recently took on the alias of Peter Kazantsea;hgdfjaksvf (pronounced: Kazantsajkslthdjal). He's Han Solo's copilot and closest cohort. Chewie may be a big scruffy Aminal, but when it comes to spaceship mechanics and covering your ass in firefights with the Empire, this is one Wookie you can trust. He'll even climb into an AT-ST to kill the bad guys in it just because he'd rather take it for a test drive than blow it up. Nobody really understands what he's saying, but somehow he always gets his point across. He'll also give you a bear hug you'll never forget.
R2-D2: Proof that if robots do take over the world, we might just be better off. He's Ian Seim, and he's one tough cookie. He can perform just about any task you need, although he won't always be happy about it. But when it comes down to the wire, you can rely on him to have a trick up his...antenna. You can only understand him if you know what all his bleeps mean, which could take a bit of getting used to, but it won't matter cause it all sounds smart anyway. Probably the most useful and dangerous [thing?] to have with you at any given time. Also he's super short.
C-3PO: He's Joe Amodei. He's silly and has funny hand gestures and is randomly really intelligent about a bunch of different things. He often gets blown into pieces, and sometimes he doesn't get put back together the right way, be he always manages to end up with his head facing the right direction. Originally built by Anakin Skywalker before he was Darth Vader, this guy is a piece of work. He's fluent in over 6 million different languages, which is funny because Joe can barely speak 1!
Obi-Wan (Ben) Kinobi: Michael Buckley is wise beyond his years. He can teach you how to rock out with your light-saber out. He'll also die for you and yet keep giving you useful instructions from beyond the grave. If you're feeling like your life could use more Force in it, just go to him and he'll probably tell you some crazy story about your father being an evil space dictator and that you have to become a Jedi Knight and kill him to destroy the oppresive Empire he helped build, all while resisting the temptation of the Dark Side. A good person to run into if you're bored.
Yoda: Yoda is like the Jesus Christ of the Jedi religion. So, with that in mind, who better to be Yoda than Jesus! Probably the only difference between Sam Baskir and Yoda is that one of them is a puppet. Yoda is infinitely wise (probably the wisest man this side of the Degobah system), and a mischievious little 500-year-old Jedi Master/philosopher at that. He preaches peace at all costs, but could probably fuck you up if he needed to. Plus he talks funny! Whats not to love?
Darth Vader: Julia K. is going to take over the galaxy and/or universe and we all know it.
Lando Calrissian: At first glance, this is just Tyrus Grant Hainsworth. At second glance, this guy is a total traitor...but don't give up on him yet! He's out for himself and anyone he can help along the way. If he gets you in a jam, he'll help you get out of it. He'll also sell you a shitty looking but quite awesome vehicle. He may talk a lot of talk, but he always backs it up. You can find him in the utopia of Cloud City, otherwise known as Vancouver.
Ewoks: Janie Cole and Lela Dixon are totally Ewoks. They are just too cute! And they're feisty and resourceful enough to help a band of warriors battle off their oppressors with makeshift weapons (they had to make them because there is no war in Ewokville!). Plus, I can totally see them living in a treehouse utopia somewhere in the forest.
Princess Amidala: On the surface, Kate Finley is as sweet as pie, but don't start oppressing her people or she'll stage a fucking coup on your ass! She gave birth (chuckle) to the rebellion, well...a long time ago..in a galaxy far, far away..and it hasn't given up since! She'll even go undercover as Natalie Portman to make sure nobody finds out her secret ambitions. Don't you love it when a plan comes together?
Jar Jar Binks: Geier is Jar Jar binks. It's just hilariously true.
Well, that's it, but if you think any other friends of ours could be Star Wars characters, please let me know!
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